Do you smell something burning?
The other day I was running the trolley route and I picked up a husband and wife couple that were headed to the local city pool to cool off for the afternoon. It was about 98 degrees out with a heat index of well over 105. It was freakin' HOT!
When the couple boarded my pseudo trolley I wondered if they had brought soap and a rubber ducky with them as well, because judging from the body odor emanating from them both I just assumed the trip to the pool wasn't just to cool off but maybe also to wash the stink off.
They found a seat, right behind me, and began having the mundane conversations that most people have aboard the bus. Just every day chatter.
Then I heard the wife whisper to the husband, "Do you smell something burning?"
"No, there's nothing burning honey you're sniffers' just messed up from the heat." the husband replied.
"Are you sure, ask the driver if she smells something burning...." she pleaded.
"Excuse me miss, but do you smell something burning?" he politely asked me.
I sniffed dramatically, taking in the pungent odor that was their combined bodily essences, then quickly said..."Nope, nothing smells like it's burning."
What I really wanted to say was that their own stank nasty a$$es that they were smelling, which didn't smell so much like something burning as something rotting. But I can't do that without risking losing my job. So I just gave them that simple, honest answer.
Because BO doesn't smell like fire. It might set your nose hairs on fire, but it doesn't smell like fire.
.....now you're probably wondering what I meant by "pseudo trolley" up there. Well here's the story on that.
I had pulled a super early route on Friday morning. It started at 4:10am and ended just after 7am. When I pulled up to the garage to surrender the drivers' seat to the driver who would take the bus and it's passengers to their next destination, the relief driver warned me that I was gonna need a barrel of ice water and a good nap because I was gonna get pulled for trolley duty for the rest of the day.
I sighed heavily.... so not wanting to hear that on a day that was to be one of the hottest yet in the capitol city. I went inside and asked the dispatcher if the rumor was true. He confirmed it with a hint of pity in his tone.
"Well, if that's the case I'm gonna go ahead and call in sick right now. There is no way I'm gonna put myself at risk of heat stroke for anyone today. Gimme an air conditioned bus to run the route with, and we're in business. Otherwise, mark me out until tomorrow." I told him.
"Well, do this... go home, take a nap. Call me at nine to "check the board" and I'll see what we can do about getting you a bus." he advised.
"I'm not doing it without a/c dude. Seriously, so I'll go home and take that nap but don't expect me to show up for duty if you tell me at nine that there aren't any buses available, okay? SERIOUSLY. I won't do it if that's the case. It's not safe, healthy, or sane to be out in that heat in that blasted hot trolley."
"Ok, go home, call me. I'm sure it won't be a problem."
So I left, went home and crawled back into bed for a nice long nap. My alarm went off at one minute after nine and after shutting off the alarm on my phone I dialed the dispatch office. I was guaranteed a bus!
And let me tell you. Had I not had that bus, people would have passed out left and right. It was so hot out, like many of the days in the past two weeks, that just sitting in the shade doing nothing made one sweat profusely. And I picked up passengers all day who were on the cusp of collapsing.
I made many friends on my second trolley duty thanks to my comfy air conditioned bus. I even had one passenger say that if the regular driver showed up on Monday with no a/c she'd never ride his route again. And I believe she was serious.
The majority of the people who regularly ride the trolley route are elderly. They ride from their homes or apartments to the stores that are along the route; he farmers market, the grocery store, the mall, etc. It's a huge convenience for them and since most of them have a medicare card they get to ride for a mere $0.35. It's a steal really.
But when it's 105 outside and they're in need of break and milk and they rely on the trolley to get them around town, it's probably a hard call to make whether to risk heat exhaustion or just stay home and raid the pantry for crumbs.
I don't know why the regular driver doesn't consider taking a bus on the days he's not calling in sick or taking vacation when the forecast is "miserable heat". The passengers on my pseudo trolley Friday were uber grateful and a few even complained about how hard it is to make themselves get on the trolley some days because of the heat. He has the option of asking for a bus, and I'm sure his regular riders would really appreciate the break from the summer sun on occasion.
But then again, if I had been on the trolley with its' open air windows I'd probably not have "smelled something burning" and my nose would have been that much happier.
When the couple boarded my pseudo trolley I wondered if they had brought soap and a rubber ducky with them as well, because judging from the body odor emanating from them both I just assumed the trip to the pool wasn't just to cool off but maybe also to wash the stink off.
They found a seat, right behind me, and began having the mundane conversations that most people have aboard the bus. Just every day chatter.
Then I heard the wife whisper to the husband, "Do you smell something burning?"
"No, there's nothing burning honey you're sniffers' just messed up from the heat." the husband replied.
"Are you sure, ask the driver if she smells something burning...." she pleaded.
"Excuse me miss, but do you smell something burning?" he politely asked me.
I sniffed dramatically, taking in the pungent odor that was their combined bodily essences, then quickly said..."Nope, nothing smells like it's burning."
What I really wanted to say was that their own stank nasty a$$es that they were smelling, which didn't smell so much like something burning as something rotting. But I can't do that without risking losing my job. So I just gave them that simple, honest answer.
Because BO doesn't smell like fire. It might set your nose hairs on fire, but it doesn't smell like fire.
.....now you're probably wondering what I meant by "pseudo trolley" up there. Well here's the story on that.
I had pulled a super early route on Friday morning. It started at 4:10am and ended just after 7am. When I pulled up to the garage to surrender the drivers' seat to the driver who would take the bus and it's passengers to their next destination, the relief driver warned me that I was gonna need a barrel of ice water and a good nap because I was gonna get pulled for trolley duty for the rest of the day.
I sighed heavily.... so not wanting to hear that on a day that was to be one of the hottest yet in the capitol city. I went inside and asked the dispatcher if the rumor was true. He confirmed it with a hint of pity in his tone.
"Well, if that's the case I'm gonna go ahead and call in sick right now. There is no way I'm gonna put myself at risk of heat stroke for anyone today. Gimme an air conditioned bus to run the route with, and we're in business. Otherwise, mark me out until tomorrow." I told him.
"Well, do this... go home, take a nap. Call me at nine to "check the board" and I'll see what we can do about getting you a bus." he advised.
"I'm not doing it without a/c dude. Seriously, so I'll go home and take that nap but don't expect me to show up for duty if you tell me at nine that there aren't any buses available, okay? SERIOUSLY. I won't do it if that's the case. It's not safe, healthy, or sane to be out in that heat in that blasted hot trolley."
"Ok, go home, call me. I'm sure it won't be a problem."
So I left, went home and crawled back into bed for a nice long nap. My alarm went off at one minute after nine and after shutting off the alarm on my phone I dialed the dispatch office. I was guaranteed a bus!
And let me tell you. Had I not had that bus, people would have passed out left and right. It was so hot out, like many of the days in the past two weeks, that just sitting in the shade doing nothing made one sweat profusely. And I picked up passengers all day who were on the cusp of collapsing.
I made many friends on my second trolley duty thanks to my comfy air conditioned bus. I even had one passenger say that if the regular driver showed up on Monday with no a/c she'd never ride his route again. And I believe she was serious.
The majority of the people who regularly ride the trolley route are elderly. They ride from their homes or apartments to the stores that are along the route; he farmers market, the grocery store, the mall, etc. It's a huge convenience for them and since most of them have a medicare card they get to ride for a mere $0.35. It's a steal really.
But when it's 105 outside and they're in need of break and milk and they rely on the trolley to get them around town, it's probably a hard call to make whether to risk heat exhaustion or just stay home and raid the pantry for crumbs.
I don't know why the regular driver doesn't consider taking a bus on the days he's not calling in sick or taking vacation when the forecast is "miserable heat". The passengers on my pseudo trolley Friday were uber grateful and a few even complained about how hard it is to make themselves get on the trolley some days because of the heat. He has the option of asking for a bus, and I'm sure his regular riders would really appreciate the break from the summer sun on occasion.
But then again, if I had been on the trolley with its' open air windows I'd probably not have "smelled something burning" and my nose would have been that much happier.
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