The Starfish Has Landed
It's been a whirlwind week folks. It’s hard to believe everything I
went through in a little over a 24 hour period last weekend and everything I’ve
gone through since. Here is the story of
how the birth of my little starfish unfolded.
On St. Patrick’s Day, at around two o'clock in the morning I was awakened by the first contraction that would kick off my laboring. I then spent the rest of the morning working through each subsequent contraction, trying to see if there was a time-able pattern to them. They were coming anywhere between 8-15 minutes apart. They were strong but bearable and I just let my body roll with it.
Around 3:30 am I finally gave in and called the on-call midwife. I was unsure if I was actually in early labor and wanted to get an opinion on the matter. The midwife returned my call quickly and asked me a few quick assessment questions. She said I was likely in labor and offered to meet me at the hospital, where she was with another laboring mother, to be checked if I wanted to be. I told her I was doing okay with it and I'd just continue to stay home and labor until I could get a more consistent timing between contractions.
I decided to try taking a bath after our call and that helped ease some of the aching from the contractions. I then went back to bed for a bit, catching quick little cat naps between the rise and fall of the contractions. My hubby helped me focus on my breathing and kept me calm when the pain would begin to intensify. He really was my hero of the day, by the way, as he was an amazing support throughout the entirety of my laboring process. He was so caring and encouraging and calm.
Somewhere around 7:45, after timing an hours’ worth of contractions, I was starting to see that they were getting more regular, only ranging between 5-8 minutes apart. So I called the midwife back, as she'd instructed me to do when I was getting closer and stronger contractions. Again she asked me some assessment questions to see how I was doing and told me that she thought that I was doing great.
Over the next few hours the midwife called and checked in on me a few times, checking to see how I was getting along. She had wrapped up with the other mother at the hospital and had offered to meet me at the Birth Center anytime I was ready. I told her that since my contractions still hadn't gotten any closer together I'd wait it out a little while longer at home. So she said she would go home and get herself refreshed with a shower and a nap and check on me again if I hadn't called her first.
Just before one o’clock I called her to let her know my contractions were finally 3-5 minutes apart and intensifying. We agreed to meet at the Birth Center at two o’clock. Knowing it was finally “time”, hubby and I got the last minute things packed in the bags and I did my best to relax between contractions as we did so.
We arrived at the Birth Center just after two and wasted no time getting settled in. The midwife asked if she could check me to see how dilated I was after we’d gotten situated. We were all surprised when she said I was already dilated to 6cm. My having labored at home for 12 hours had gotten me pretty far apparently. So at that point it was time to just keep working hard to get my little girl closer to coming out into the world. With support and coaching by the midwife and my husband, I tried a variety of laboring positions including using a “birthing ball” and getting in a bathtub and then later a shower.
Sometime after five the midwife wanted to check me again and after doing so, was thrilled to tell me that not only had my water finally broke, I was also dilated to 8cm! According to her that meant I was entering the most painful phase of labor called transition. While that isn’t necessarily great news for a woman in pain already, it was the kind of news that meant that there was a light at the end of the very painful tunnel I’d been in all day long. I continued laboring, moving and switching positions as often as I could to relieve the pain a little and encourage my body to do what needed to be done to get to the point of wanting to push.
However, Mother Nature had different plans for me and my little girl. After another couple of hours laboring, my contractions had become more erratic. The timing of them should have begun getting closer together, but instead they were all over the place. It was as if my body was giving up and refusing to progress.
The midwife checked me once more and I knew something was wrong by the look on her face. I’d regressed from 8cm dilated to 6cm and she said she could feel the baby’s head sort of bulging through the opening which indicated she might have swelling that could cause issues if left untreated. My heart ached because I knew what was coming next.
She asked me if we could transfer to the hospital and get me on an IV drip of Pitocin to kick my contractions up a notch to try to jump start things again. For those who don’t know, Pitocin is a synthetic form of oxytocin which is a hormone that our bodies naturally produce and in the synthetic form, it is used in labor to either get it started or to speed it up once it’s already begun. We asked the midwife to explain the risks to the baby if we didn’t go and get the intervention. We then asked her to leave so hubby and I could discuss it.
I really had hoped for an all natural, intervention and drug free labor and delivery. I wasn’t too naive to believe that something couldn’t pop up to derail that plan. However, I was really sad that it wasn’t going the way I’d hoped. We decided to do what the midwife thought was best and began to pack up and get ready to head back to town to the hospital.
My contractions were still erratic but had been becoming very intense and unbearable. Mind you, I still hadn’t accepted any sort of pain meds to that point and was planning to say no to any form of it once we got the Pitocin started. I knew I was being crazy, because I was already exhausted and in agony. But I wanted it to be as close to the way I wanted it to be as possible, and I was set on staying pain-med free as long as possible.
Once at the hospital I was taken right to a room in the labor and delivery ward and the nurses wasted no time getting my IV line started and the Pitocin flowing. I had NO IDEA what I was really in for once that stuff got into my body. It made my contractions about 1,000 times stronger, longer and more frequent. I would get wave after wave of pain unlike anything I’d had all day long. One contraction would just start waning when another one would begin. It was torture, but they assured me it was helping to get baby out.
The midwife checked me once more after about an hour and a half of this hardcore laboring and told me that I was back up to 8cm dilated. She felt it was just a matter of time and I’d start getting the urge to push and that when I did I would be meeting my baby girl in no time. I used that thought along with my hubby’s patient coaching to breathe deeply as the contractions came and went.
The midwife had paged the OB/GYN to come and check me and see what he thought about my progress. I’ve seen this doctor before on a couple of occasions over the years at the doctor’s office for my annual exams. He’s a great doctor and I was glad he was the one in the L&D ward that night. After he checked me he sat down on the end of the bed and explained that he didn’t feel confident that my baby was in a good position to be born naturally. The swelling on her head was getting worse and after nearly two hours of Pitocin I was stalled out at 8cm dilated. He said I had a couple of options, get an Epidural and labor for a few more hours with the Pitocin or go in for a c-section and have my baby girl sooner rather than later.
He also explained that while I could get the Epidural and labor a little longer, there was no guarantee it wouldn’t end in c-section because of her position. My stubborn little sweet pea had gotten herself into a position that wasn’t allowing her to move down into the birth canal which he suspected was what was keeping me from dilating further. But he said it was safe to try for a couple more hours if I wanted to do that.
Since I was against the pain medicine that the Epidural would provide in a natural labor setting I was very unsure of what to do. After getting all of the info from both the doctor and the midwife, we asked for a little time to discuss it. Between the agonizing contractions the hubby and I talked it over and made the toughest decision all day long.
We called for the doctor and the midwife to come back in and told them we would rather do the c-section than risk our daughters’ life. I was more afraid of hurting her than having to have surgery to get her here safe and sound.
And the frenzy to get me prepped for surgery began. Forms were signed between contractions and the hubby was dressed in scrubs and looking as worried as ever. My heart broke knowing things weren’t going according to plan. But I felt confident that the decision we’d made was the best one for us.
Once in the operating room things just sort of whizzed by; I was given the spinal block to numb my body from the waist down relieving me from the pangs of the contractions that the Pitocin had created. I was laid in a crucified pose on the operating table as the OR team got down to business. The folks in that room were so patient and kind and gave me all of the important information and made sure I understood everything that was happening.
I was wide awake and completely aware of everything going on around me. And while I couldn’t feel the pain of the actual process of delivering my baby via c-section, I could still feel the pulls and tugs and pressure of everything that was being done to me. Even those elbows that the one surgical assistant had jammed into my thighs when they were sewing me back up at the end. I have to say it was the most bizarre thing to experience.
It really took no time at all to hear the first cries of my precious baby girl when they pulled her out. I immediately began to feel the tears of relief start to trickle out of the corners of my eyes. I looked over at my hubby and saw that the look of joy and relief had replaced the concern in his eyes as well.
The doctor laughed, looked me in the eyes from over the curtain keeping me from the view of the gore going on below, and announced that I had a baby girl! Even he seemed as happy as I felt at that moment. The nurses rushed to get her weighed and cleaned up but didn’t miss the chance to show us our baby girl, fresh out of my belly, as they crossed the room to tend to her in the warmer. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever set eyes upon; even all purple and wet and wild.
My hubby was the first of us to get to hold her and while I watched him gently cradle her in his arms a new wave of absolute love and emotion swept over me. The man I love with all of my heart was now holding our daughter with such tenderness and care that I felt my heart melt and my love for him grow.
As the OR team worked to close my belly back up I was pretty well oblivious to their chatter and clatter as I stared at my two loves and just enjoyed our first moments together as a family. My midwife asked for our camera and took some pictures of us in those first moments as new parents as well, pictures I will treasure forever.
After a short bit the nurses asked for the baby back so they could do whatever it is they do with newborns while my surgery was completed and I was moved to the recovery room. From that point until they later placed my baby girl upon my chest and encouraged me to try to get her to feed in the recovery room, I just kind of took it all in. My husband and I bonded as we waited for the baby to be brought in.
My sister also arrived at the hospital during this time and they allowed her to come back to the recovery room to be with us. Right now it’s all a little blurry as to how the events unfolded; my timeline might be off a bit. But I know that at some point my midwife came to my bedside, expressing concern that I might feel regret about having had such a massive change in my birth plan from all natural to c-section. But as we discussed it, I realized I didn’t mind it at all. I had my baby girl now, she was safe and sound and healthy and I had done everything I could to get her here that way.
The rest of the night is definitely a complete blur. But I know I was just thrilled to have my sweet little girl in my arms, my wonderful husband by my side and was peaceful in the reality that we had all three gotten through it together.
On St. Patrick’s Day, at around two o'clock in the morning I was awakened by the first contraction that would kick off my laboring. I then spent the rest of the morning working through each subsequent contraction, trying to see if there was a time-able pattern to them. They were coming anywhere between 8-15 minutes apart. They were strong but bearable and I just let my body roll with it.
Around 3:30 am I finally gave in and called the on-call midwife. I was unsure if I was actually in early labor and wanted to get an opinion on the matter. The midwife returned my call quickly and asked me a few quick assessment questions. She said I was likely in labor and offered to meet me at the hospital, where she was with another laboring mother, to be checked if I wanted to be. I told her I was doing okay with it and I'd just continue to stay home and labor until I could get a more consistent timing between contractions.
I decided to try taking a bath after our call and that helped ease some of the aching from the contractions. I then went back to bed for a bit, catching quick little cat naps between the rise and fall of the contractions. My hubby helped me focus on my breathing and kept me calm when the pain would begin to intensify. He really was my hero of the day, by the way, as he was an amazing support throughout the entirety of my laboring process. He was so caring and encouraging and calm.
Somewhere around 7:45, after timing an hours’ worth of contractions, I was starting to see that they were getting more regular, only ranging between 5-8 minutes apart. So I called the midwife back, as she'd instructed me to do when I was getting closer and stronger contractions. Again she asked me some assessment questions to see how I was doing and told me that she thought that I was doing great.
Over the next few hours the midwife called and checked in on me a few times, checking to see how I was getting along. She had wrapped up with the other mother at the hospital and had offered to meet me at the Birth Center anytime I was ready. I told her that since my contractions still hadn't gotten any closer together I'd wait it out a little while longer at home. So she said she would go home and get herself refreshed with a shower and a nap and check on me again if I hadn't called her first.
Just before one o’clock I called her to let her know my contractions were finally 3-5 minutes apart and intensifying. We agreed to meet at the Birth Center at two o’clock. Knowing it was finally “time”, hubby and I got the last minute things packed in the bags and I did my best to relax between contractions as we did so.
We arrived at the Birth Center just after two and wasted no time getting settled in. The midwife asked if she could check me to see how dilated I was after we’d gotten situated. We were all surprised when she said I was already dilated to 6cm. My having labored at home for 12 hours had gotten me pretty far apparently. So at that point it was time to just keep working hard to get my little girl closer to coming out into the world. With support and coaching by the midwife and my husband, I tried a variety of laboring positions including using a “birthing ball” and getting in a bathtub and then later a shower.
Sometime after five the midwife wanted to check me again and after doing so, was thrilled to tell me that not only had my water finally broke, I was also dilated to 8cm! According to her that meant I was entering the most painful phase of labor called transition. While that isn’t necessarily great news for a woman in pain already, it was the kind of news that meant that there was a light at the end of the very painful tunnel I’d been in all day long. I continued laboring, moving and switching positions as often as I could to relieve the pain a little and encourage my body to do what needed to be done to get to the point of wanting to push.
However, Mother Nature had different plans for me and my little girl. After another couple of hours laboring, my contractions had become more erratic. The timing of them should have begun getting closer together, but instead they were all over the place. It was as if my body was giving up and refusing to progress.
The midwife checked me once more and I knew something was wrong by the look on her face. I’d regressed from 8cm dilated to 6cm and she said she could feel the baby’s head sort of bulging through the opening which indicated she might have swelling that could cause issues if left untreated. My heart ached because I knew what was coming next.
She asked me if we could transfer to the hospital and get me on an IV drip of Pitocin to kick my contractions up a notch to try to jump start things again. For those who don’t know, Pitocin is a synthetic form of oxytocin which is a hormone that our bodies naturally produce and in the synthetic form, it is used in labor to either get it started or to speed it up once it’s already begun. We asked the midwife to explain the risks to the baby if we didn’t go and get the intervention. We then asked her to leave so hubby and I could discuss it.
I really had hoped for an all natural, intervention and drug free labor and delivery. I wasn’t too naive to believe that something couldn’t pop up to derail that plan. However, I was really sad that it wasn’t going the way I’d hoped. We decided to do what the midwife thought was best and began to pack up and get ready to head back to town to the hospital.
My contractions were still erratic but had been becoming very intense and unbearable. Mind you, I still hadn’t accepted any sort of pain meds to that point and was planning to say no to any form of it once we got the Pitocin started. I knew I was being crazy, because I was already exhausted and in agony. But I wanted it to be as close to the way I wanted it to be as possible, and I was set on staying pain-med free as long as possible.
Once at the hospital I was taken right to a room in the labor and delivery ward and the nurses wasted no time getting my IV line started and the Pitocin flowing. I had NO IDEA what I was really in for once that stuff got into my body. It made my contractions about 1,000 times stronger, longer and more frequent. I would get wave after wave of pain unlike anything I’d had all day long. One contraction would just start waning when another one would begin. It was torture, but they assured me it was helping to get baby out.
The midwife checked me once more after about an hour and a half of this hardcore laboring and told me that I was back up to 8cm dilated. She felt it was just a matter of time and I’d start getting the urge to push and that when I did I would be meeting my baby girl in no time. I used that thought along with my hubby’s patient coaching to breathe deeply as the contractions came and went.
The midwife had paged the OB/GYN to come and check me and see what he thought about my progress. I’ve seen this doctor before on a couple of occasions over the years at the doctor’s office for my annual exams. He’s a great doctor and I was glad he was the one in the L&D ward that night. After he checked me he sat down on the end of the bed and explained that he didn’t feel confident that my baby was in a good position to be born naturally. The swelling on her head was getting worse and after nearly two hours of Pitocin I was stalled out at 8cm dilated. He said I had a couple of options, get an Epidural and labor for a few more hours with the Pitocin or go in for a c-section and have my baby girl sooner rather than later.
He also explained that while I could get the Epidural and labor a little longer, there was no guarantee it wouldn’t end in c-section because of her position. My stubborn little sweet pea had gotten herself into a position that wasn’t allowing her to move down into the birth canal which he suspected was what was keeping me from dilating further. But he said it was safe to try for a couple more hours if I wanted to do that.
Since I was against the pain medicine that the Epidural would provide in a natural labor setting I was very unsure of what to do. After getting all of the info from both the doctor and the midwife, we asked for a little time to discuss it. Between the agonizing contractions the hubby and I talked it over and made the toughest decision all day long.
We called for the doctor and the midwife to come back in and told them we would rather do the c-section than risk our daughters’ life. I was more afraid of hurting her than having to have surgery to get her here safe and sound.
And the frenzy to get me prepped for surgery began. Forms were signed between contractions and the hubby was dressed in scrubs and looking as worried as ever. My heart broke knowing things weren’t going according to plan. But I felt confident that the decision we’d made was the best one for us.
Once in the operating room things just sort of whizzed by; I was given the spinal block to numb my body from the waist down relieving me from the pangs of the contractions that the Pitocin had created. I was laid in a crucified pose on the operating table as the OR team got down to business. The folks in that room were so patient and kind and gave me all of the important information and made sure I understood everything that was happening.
I was wide awake and completely aware of everything going on around me. And while I couldn’t feel the pain of the actual process of delivering my baby via c-section, I could still feel the pulls and tugs and pressure of everything that was being done to me. Even those elbows that the one surgical assistant had jammed into my thighs when they were sewing me back up at the end. I have to say it was the most bizarre thing to experience.
It really took no time at all to hear the first cries of my precious baby girl when they pulled her out. I immediately began to feel the tears of relief start to trickle out of the corners of my eyes. I looked over at my hubby and saw that the look of joy and relief had replaced the concern in his eyes as well.
And at that moment, March 18, 2013 at 12:21am we had officially become parents.
The doctor laughed, looked me in the eyes from over the curtain keeping me from the view of the gore going on below, and announced that I had a baby girl! Even he seemed as happy as I felt at that moment. The nurses rushed to get her weighed and cleaned up but didn’t miss the chance to show us our baby girl, fresh out of my belly, as they crossed the room to tend to her in the warmer. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever set eyes upon; even all purple and wet and wild.
My hubby was the first of us to get to hold her and while I watched him gently cradle her in his arms a new wave of absolute love and emotion swept over me. The man I love with all of my heart was now holding our daughter with such tenderness and care that I felt my heart melt and my love for him grow.
As the OR team worked to close my belly back up I was pretty well oblivious to their chatter and clatter as I stared at my two loves and just enjoyed our first moments together as a family. My midwife asked for our camera and took some pictures of us in those first moments as new parents as well, pictures I will treasure forever.
After a short bit the nurses asked for the baby back so they could do whatever it is they do with newborns while my surgery was completed and I was moved to the recovery room. From that point until they later placed my baby girl upon my chest and encouraged me to try to get her to feed in the recovery room, I just kind of took it all in. My husband and I bonded as we waited for the baby to be brought in.
My sister also arrived at the hospital during this time and they allowed her to come back to the recovery room to be with us. Right now it’s all a little blurry as to how the events unfolded; my timeline might be off a bit. But I know that at some point my midwife came to my bedside, expressing concern that I might feel regret about having had such a massive change in my birth plan from all natural to c-section. But as we discussed it, I realized I didn’t mind it at all. I had my baby girl now, she was safe and sound and healthy and I had done everything I could to get her here that way.
The rest of the night is definitely a complete blur. But I know I was just thrilled to have my sweet little girl in my arms, my wonderful husband by my side and was peaceful in the reality that we had all three gotten through it together.
Comments
Wishing you, Nate and little Natalie the most joy EVER.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I will be checking back in for updates. Rest up and enjoy your wonderful new life!
Congratulations to you and Nate and your new little family.
Lovely little starfish; very worth the wait.