Eviction Notice
Yes I know yesterday I posted about being 4 days from my due date. But today I'm only 3 days away from it. Which is closer by a whole 24 hours.
Oh, but don't worry, I'm feeling like things are gonna stay quiet for a while yet. Baby girl seems quite content to just hang out in there, lounging around, getting fatter. Can't blame her really, I'm sure it's much more cozy in there than it will be out here.
I'm thinking of writing up an eviction notice, however.
Yes, that should do it right?
Or will I have to deal with a lawyer, police, and tons of red tape just like when you evict someone in the real world?
Well, regardless... here's my attempt at a quiet, peaceful eviction....
Dear Baby Girl,
You have three days to vacate the premises. We, your mommy and daddy, are really anxious to get you into our arms as soon as possible. We understand that you do technically have three days left on your womb lease, but would appreciate a prompt and courteous move out on or before the end of our 9 month living arrangement this coming Sunday March 17, 2013.
We have truly appreciated having you stay with us (even if you have heard mommy complain from time to time) and we hope that your accommodations have been satisfactory for the duration of your stay. While we regret the desire for you to move out, we know that you will be much better off out here, with us. So please, consider this peaceful request, one full of the utmost unconditional love there is to offer in such a situation. Your attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
Oh, but don't worry, I'm feeling like things are gonna stay quiet for a while yet. Baby girl seems quite content to just hang out in there, lounging around, getting fatter. Can't blame her really, I'm sure it's much more cozy in there than it will be out here.
I'm thinking of writing up an eviction notice, however.
Yes, that should do it right?
Or will I have to deal with a lawyer, police, and tons of red tape just like when you evict someone in the real world?
Well, regardless... here's my attempt at a quiet, peaceful eviction....
Dear Baby Girl,
You have three days to vacate the premises. We, your mommy and daddy, are really anxious to get you into our arms as soon as possible. We understand that you do technically have three days left on your womb lease, but would appreciate a prompt and courteous move out on or before the end of our 9 month living arrangement this coming Sunday March 17, 2013.
We have truly appreciated having you stay with us (even if you have heard mommy complain from time to time) and we hope that your accommodations have been satisfactory for the duration of your stay. While we regret the desire for you to move out, we know that you will be much better off out here, with us. So please, consider this peaceful request, one full of the utmost unconditional love there is to offer in such a situation. Your attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
Comments
Baby girl missed having a palindrome birthday (3 13 13), but can still aim for St. Patrick's Day under the terms of your agreement.
And, FWIW, I rather like the name "Frances." Name in the news, because of the new (elderly) pope, but wasn't Frances also that whipsmart little badger of kids' book fame?
Frances Roxx sounds good to me. But know you will come up with something even better.
Good luck!