Two Weeks Notice, yet again.

I'm not job hopping. Trust me, no one hates turning in a two weeks' notice more than I do. I may hate the job beyond a normal kind of hating, but I will still feel terrible when I have to face those who took a chance on me and hired me in the first place, only for me to say "thanks, but no thanks" in the end.

I always get sick to my tummy and shaky when I have to turn in the two weeks' notice statement. And this time was no different. The fine folks at the Authority gave me the opportunity of a lifetime, in a way. A driving job with amazing benefits, excellent pay and the potential for a life-long career would be any professional drivers' dream, right?

I thought at the very beginning it would turn out to be my dream job.

But alas, it's more than just driving, getting paid and having benefits beyond my wildest imagination. No. It was way more than that.

I knew going in I would be dealing with Joe Public on a more intimate level that ever before. But I had NO idea what that was actually going to be like. Or how it would turn my view of humanity into something so dark and unwelcome.

I also knew going in that the hours would be hectic until I worked my way up the seniority list as well. But again, I hadn't the faintest inkling how truly "hectic" it was going to be. No way was I prepared for the sheer exhaustion and the stress it causes. No way.

But I stuck it out as long as I could. I kept telling myself it HAS to get better. Any day now it'll make that one hundred and eighty degree turn from absolute crap to the absolute opposite of crap. But as each day passed and it seemed only to get worse, I realized my pivot point wasn't anywhere in sight.

As each day passed my stress levels increased exponentially, causing me not only mental but physical grief as well. I blame the stress, and my apparently inability to cope with it, for the vast majority of my "illnesses" this year. The only one I can't blame it on was the gallbladder thing. I knew it was misbehaving, and had been for a few years already. It was just a matter of time until I would need it banished from my body. So it wasn't really any surprise when it finally started acting up worse than ever and needed punishing.

So anyway.

Here I am, on the third day after having turned in my two weeks' notice. Counting down the days until I no longer have to worry about the one job I think I've hated most in my life. It very nearly ruined a lot of really good things for me. Top of which is driving.

I have a passion for driving, in any capacity. I take it very seriously, I do all I can to do it as safely and professionally as possible, even in my own private car. I worked hard to obtain the driving status and ability that I have today.

It broke my heart on many occasions this year when I was this close to throwing all my hard work away because of the loathing that this job had brought me. I had days when I thought, "why bother? I can't keep doing this."

But my love of driving, of being behind the wheel and going where the roads take me, kept me hanging in there. I'd say that that above all things is what kept me in this job for nearly 10 months. It wasn't the people (definitely not the people, ugh), it wasn't the pay (although that too had a part to play in my keeping it but not for the reason most people would assume) and it wasn't the benefits (which paid for my health and well-being which suffered greatly this year).

No, it was the driving. The physical act of snapping my seat belt, putting the vehicle in drive and getting going.

Some of you already knew I was looking at a job change again, for several months I've been tossing the idea back and forth between my heart and my head. One day I was certain I had finally made a decision and was ready to move forward. Only to have the brakes applied and the gears downshifted out of fear of making a rash, irrational decision. I think this happened about half a dozen times since around mid-October. I was so afraid I was letting my emotional side make the decisions while ignoring the rational side completely.

I'd stop, take a deep breath or twelve and reconsider my options and why I was considering them in the first place. I think, however, that I'd really made my decision by Halloween, even though I have struggled to make it certain until now. But I wanted to be sure I was doing the right thing, for me, my family and my life in general.

And now, as I said I've made my decision. I've taken the necessary steps to get things moving so I have a smooth transition from the bus driving job to my new job. Which is actually an old job I will be doing again.

What job is that? you ask.

I'm going back to playing Over-The-Road Adventuress.

Yep. Hitting the road again.

I have made arrangements with the company I worked for before to come back and drive for them again. They seem thrilled to have me back, or at least the recruiter is good at making me feel that way. Since I had a very good driving history with them and left them on excellent terms (thanks to a kind and courteous two weeks' notice) I am getting offered a fair wage offering.

I will be serving my bus drivers' duty for the last time on Friday February 3. I will have a week to prepare myself and my house hold for my return to the open road and then I will be heading to Indianapolis for a 4 day reorientation training. They claim I will get a couple days off between that and getting my truck assignment and first load, which I hope is true. (I expect nothing, plan for the worst but hope for the best.)

I am seriously excited to get back out on the road. Of course what is excitement without a little bit of nervousness to support it? I think the things I worry about the most is if my shifting will be up to par, if I will be able to back into a parking spot, and if I can trip-plan efficiently.

I kinda figure shifting and backing is like riding a bike, and I'll pick it back up like I'd been doing it all along. The trip-planning is a different story though. The two driving jobs I have held since being OTR haven't required any type of trip planning on my part. I haven't had to sit down with the miles, an atlas and a truck stop guide to figure out what route to take, where to stop for breaks, and how long it will take me from point A to point B. All of that was either planned for me with the bus company or was not relevant with the CO2 delivery company.

I figure trip-planning will really be my biggest challenge once I'm back in the saddle again.

I am confident that the rest will come back naturally, if a bit rusty at first. I have to head to my local truck stop and pick up some of the things I discarded when I left the industry before. I need an new atlas, a new truck stop guide, and a few other small things only truck stops have. I pretty much still have everything else I need. I have my old CB, my old 12v. cooler and cooker, my old bedding and pillows and clothing and coats for all seasons.

I plan on reactivating my old XM radio and probably gonna buy a new pair of boots. The company offers them at a discounted rate - not free anymore sadly - but apparently they're affordable so if they have something I like I will buy a pair, otherwise I've got my old ones somewhere in a closet and those will do until I can find something more suitable.

Aside from all that, there are a few things I need to do around the house to prepare for my departure, mostly putting away things that will annoy my husband if I leave them lying about while I'm not there.

And then there is also the mental preparations. I have to pump myself up for this, be ready to roll when called to do so. I have to kick the stress of the bus driving gig to the curb and find some clarity and sanity before hitting the road as well.

I'm anxious to dust off the old Gi-Gi Roxx and put her back on, like a well worn jacket of awesomeness. All sparkles and glitter and happiness.

Drastically different from the Gi-Gi Roxx of late. The sad, drab, distressed blue polyester uniform worn down by the life of a bus driver.

I'm definitely ready for my triumphant return to truck driving.

Bring it on.