Two drunks walk in front of a bus...

I was driving a route out on Corridor G last week. It kinda does a figure eight through several of the shopping centers that line either side of the highway. There is one particular stretch of road that up until recently I hadn't had the pleasure of traversing. It had been closed for nearly a year while a bridge was replaced.

I didn't realize until running a similar route the week before just how many people I'd be dropping off and picking up at the mouth of the road that had been closed. But I also didn't realize how many bums hung out there either, panhandling or loitering.

This past week when I was making my rounds on the route I saw two bums chilling out on a grassy knoll alongside the road while I was sitting across the highway waiting for a red light to change to green. I watched them as they waved at every car coming and going. Big smiles on their faces, probably a little tipsy.

When my light flicked to green I hit the gas and shot across the highway. As I approached the bums waved big and smiled bigger. I slowed down a bit as I made a hard left turn, passing where the bums sat waving like loons.

I made it back into town and took a quick bathroom break before turning around and heading out for the last trip to the Corridor. On my way thru the shopping center matrix I spotted the bums sitting on a different grassy knoll up ahead. This time, they were beside a stop sign. As I approached and came to a stop they waved, smiled, and beat on the side of the bus. Apparently they wanted a ride.

Of course, they also wanted to take their sweet time getting on the bus, pay their fare, and find a seat. Oh, and for the rest of the ride the complained and moaned about how I blew past them before like they weren't trying to be paying customers. The one bum, apparently piss drunk, said that I nearly ran over him the first time I passed them. He swore I made a solid attempt to "mow" him down before continuing on down the road.

Every passenger I picked up along the route back to town had to be told about how I just left them sitting on the side of the road for an hour, how I nearly killed them with the bus, and how I was now scaring them so badly that the one bum wasn't sure he should have gotten onto my bus.

He was loud as he made his accusations and told his tales. He was annoying but honestly, at the same time I was highly entertained. At one point he began complaining about my driving ability.

"First she nearly ran me over, you see. And now she's driving like a maniac. Miss could you please slow down and stop scaring me?"

"If you're scared, close your eyes then."

The other passengers laughed at my quip, I simply shook my head and carried on. Laughing on the inside of course.

As we approached the final stop on the route downtown at the transit mall the mouthy bum was proclaiming his happiness that we'd arrived safely and was so happy that he could now open his eyes and get off the "crazy lady's" bus.

Little did he know he could have stayed on my bus to go to his absolute final destination on the West Side of town. He'd paid for a transfer when he boarded the bus to get to the West Side. I sold it to him not thinking that I would be going that way once I made it back to the transit mall. But once we got there and he asked when the next bus to the West Side would be leaving I realized quickly I had to fib to keep him from re-boarding my bus.

Oops. But think before you speak, criticizing the bus driver isn't a good way to get a ride to where you want to go. ;o)

Comments

this job sure puts you in touch with some interesting & bizarre folks!

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