Safety First... and Always?
My life before becoming driving professional was one of quiet caution, thanks to bumps and cuts and bruises received doing things "unsafely". When I became an OTR truck driver and was properly "pumpkinized" in Green Bay, WI I adopted the mantra "Safety First and Always!" and held fast to all it stood for.
I became ever more safety conscious, resulting in fewer bumps, cuts and bruises. I believe living this simple statement all day every day while I was out there on the road saved me many a headache and heartache. I had incidents here and there, a few of which were rookie mistakes and a few of which were a result of me getting temporarily complacent. But overall I'd say that "Safety First and Always" really saved my ass.
Flash forward to today. I'm in an altogether different type of driving job, one where safety (to me) is of the utmost importance. I'm not only responsible for myself and the rest of the motoring public's safety, now I'm also responsible for every passenger that gets on and off of my buses safety.
So when I'm put into a position where I feel the situation is incredibly unsafe, I have BIG issues. Luckily winter weather hasn't really been an issue yet. But fatigue certainly has. And it's becoming more and more prevalent as the year presses on. There are many things to do in ones personal life, mix that with 40+ hour work week behind the wheel of an emotionally, mentally, and physically demanding job and it's creating a very unsafe atmosphere.
I'm wore the hell out. Exhausted. I'm getting at best 6 hours of sleep a night, partly because I can't fall and stay asleep for a whole night. And partly because of the stresses of daily living interfering with the timing of needed sleep.
Take last night for example. I was on a run that was supposed to get done at 9. I didn't end up even getting back to the garage until 9:30. By the time I wrap things up and get in the car it is 9:40, 15 minute drive home it's pretty much 10pm. I'd not gotten to take a dinner so I was not only tired but also really hungry. But knowing I had to be up, showered, fed and alert for work at six something this morning, I decided to forgo dinner and get straight to bed.
I was tucked in by 10:30. I hadn't wound down of course, so I laid there trying to breathe through some relaxation techniques for probably a half an hour. So 11:00 I'm still awake, but relaxing finally. Last time I saw the clock it said 11:09.
Then the phone rings somewhere around 10 minutes to 5, dispatch calling to let me know my mark-up had changed and I needed to be in ASAP. When I asked what run I was going to be doing and what exactly ASAP meant, I got this...
"It's the Clendenin run, it starts at 5:10, but just get here as soon as you can."
I explained angrily that it would be closer to 6 before I could make it there.
I got up, pissed and still half asleep, made coffee, washed my hair in the sink and got dressed and left. By the time I got the garage I should have already been more than halfway to Clendenin. So I was instructed to deadhead up the interstate and just start from the turnaround point coming back to town.
The run was a straight eight, which actually is paid out for 8:45. But I really only worked the 8 hours since I was so late getting in thanks to the short notice. Of course, I'd only managed a cup of coffee and to snag a few cookies before I flew out the door. Luckily I'd tossed an apple in my purse the night before. Otherwise, I'd have really been in trouble.
The run is a tight one with very little time for leeway. I had to make time with two hours left to go for a bathroom break because I just couldn't hold it anymore. Of course, the need to hold in my pee kept me awake for the previous hour to that. I was (and still am) thoroughly exhausted.
Some people might be able to function at full capacity on only 6 hours of sleep. I'm not one of them. To feel my best I need 8 or more hours. Which is become a rarity, even on my days off.
So yes, I'm always tired, but not like I've been today, and really all week. Hell, on Monday I worked a LONG day after having only around 4 hours of sleep. I actually had passengers wake me up at a red light. I'd nodded off while waiting for it to turn green.
Today I knew I wasn't going to be safe. And the longer I drove the worse it got. I'm fatigued to a point that if I were OTR I'd call my dispatcher and say "I'm pulling over and sleeping until I wake up, it's not safe to drive and I refuse". But I can't do that at the bus company. Nope, I drive... and hope that I can stay awake and that no one gets hurt.
I swerved a lot today. I struggled to keep my eyes open. Once the sun rose it was a little easier, but there were moments when I was nearly in tears because I was going cross eyed, hallucinating and scaring myself.
I kept hearing my safety mantra in my head, only instead of a certain and strong statement it was more of a weak and wavering question.
And the joy of joys is that right now, I have to suit up and go back out for another nearly 3 hour run, in the dark... full of exhaustion and stressed beyond belief. But does anyone care that I am putting so many lives at risk? Doesn't seem so.
I became ever more safety conscious, resulting in fewer bumps, cuts and bruises. I believe living this simple statement all day every day while I was out there on the road saved me many a headache and heartache. I had incidents here and there, a few of which were rookie mistakes and a few of which were a result of me getting temporarily complacent. But overall I'd say that "Safety First and Always" really saved my ass.
Flash forward to today. I'm in an altogether different type of driving job, one where safety (to me) is of the utmost importance. I'm not only responsible for myself and the rest of the motoring public's safety, now I'm also responsible for every passenger that gets on and off of my buses safety.
So when I'm put into a position where I feel the situation is incredibly unsafe, I have BIG issues. Luckily winter weather hasn't really been an issue yet. But fatigue certainly has. And it's becoming more and more prevalent as the year presses on. There are many things to do in ones personal life, mix that with 40+ hour work week behind the wheel of an emotionally, mentally, and physically demanding job and it's creating a very unsafe atmosphere.
I'm wore the hell out. Exhausted. I'm getting at best 6 hours of sleep a night, partly because I can't fall and stay asleep for a whole night. And partly because of the stresses of daily living interfering with the timing of needed sleep.
Take last night for example. I was on a run that was supposed to get done at 9. I didn't end up even getting back to the garage until 9:30. By the time I wrap things up and get in the car it is 9:40, 15 minute drive home it's pretty much 10pm. I'd not gotten to take a dinner so I was not only tired but also really hungry. But knowing I had to be up, showered, fed and alert for work at six something this morning, I decided to forgo dinner and get straight to bed.
I was tucked in by 10:30. I hadn't wound down of course, so I laid there trying to breathe through some relaxation techniques for probably a half an hour. So 11:00 I'm still awake, but relaxing finally. Last time I saw the clock it said 11:09.
Then the phone rings somewhere around 10 minutes to 5, dispatch calling to let me know my mark-up had changed and I needed to be in ASAP. When I asked what run I was going to be doing and what exactly ASAP meant, I got this...
"It's the Clendenin run, it starts at 5:10, but just get here as soon as you can."
I explained angrily that it would be closer to 6 before I could make it there.
I got up, pissed and still half asleep, made coffee, washed my hair in the sink and got dressed and left. By the time I got the garage I should have already been more than halfway to Clendenin. So I was instructed to deadhead up the interstate and just start from the turnaround point coming back to town.
The run was a straight eight, which actually is paid out for 8:45. But I really only worked the 8 hours since I was so late getting in thanks to the short notice. Of course, I'd only managed a cup of coffee and to snag a few cookies before I flew out the door. Luckily I'd tossed an apple in my purse the night before. Otherwise, I'd have really been in trouble.
The run is a tight one with very little time for leeway. I had to make time with two hours left to go for a bathroom break because I just couldn't hold it anymore. Of course, the need to hold in my pee kept me awake for the previous hour to that. I was (and still am) thoroughly exhausted.
Some people might be able to function at full capacity on only 6 hours of sleep. I'm not one of them. To feel my best I need 8 or more hours. Which is become a rarity, even on my days off.
So yes, I'm always tired, but not like I've been today, and really all week. Hell, on Monday I worked a LONG day after having only around 4 hours of sleep. I actually had passengers wake me up at a red light. I'd nodded off while waiting for it to turn green.
Today I knew I wasn't going to be safe. And the longer I drove the worse it got. I'm fatigued to a point that if I were OTR I'd call my dispatcher and say "I'm pulling over and sleeping until I wake up, it's not safe to drive and I refuse". But I can't do that at the bus company. Nope, I drive... and hope that I can stay awake and that no one gets hurt.
I swerved a lot today. I struggled to keep my eyes open. Once the sun rose it was a little easier, but there were moments when I was nearly in tears because I was going cross eyed, hallucinating and scaring myself.
I kept hearing my safety mantra in my head, only instead of a certain and strong statement it was more of a weak and wavering question.
And the joy of joys is that right now, I have to suit up and go back out for another nearly 3 hour run, in the dark... full of exhaustion and stressed beyond belief. But does anyone care that I am putting so many lives at risk? Doesn't seem so.
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