Penis...
Yes my friends... I just titled my blog after the male reproductive organ.
Why?
Because I can. And because it's part of what I'm going to blog about today.
Yesterday I was enjoying a lovely drive down US-67 through the State of Misery...er Missouri. It was hit or miss rain most of the morning but as the afternoon hours came to pass the sun came out and made for a lovely drive.
I was about an hour and a half away from my decided destination for the night on the MO - AR state line when it happened. I was passed by an ordinary Isuzu pick-up truck, complete with Bond-O and rust spots (as an Isuzu pickup is sure to have these days). Nothing attention grabbing, just a bucket of rust cruising down the road.
And then the driver had begun to shift a little in the drivers seat and then slowly began to decelerate. My initial thought..'Cel phone rang, it was on his belt or in his pocket and the conversation and new distraction had his foot forgetting about the gas pedal'.
Boy was I wrong.
He slowed down, honked his horn, apparently desperate for my attention. I thought maybe he needed help or was going to point out a flaw in my truck for me. But no... when I looked over, to my great disappointment and disgust, all I could see was his pants around his knees and his hand working very laboriously on his member. Penis.
Damnit guys! Seriously. I've had a conversation with many of my male friends on this subject to try to get some idea as to why this happens. I want to say that I am happy you feel comfortable enough to masturbate in your car driving down the road. Good for you. Stroke it like you mean it! But please, just leave me (and anyone else for that matter) out of it. I certainly don't want to see you spanking the monkey. My reasons are as follows:
1) I think it's just rude and disgusting. What if I were a real "mother trucker" who had my young child in the truck with me and it was he/she that saw you doing this as opposed to me? Would you be ashamed? Probably not you sick f%ck.
2) The blatant disregard for safety really pisses me off. First you're distracting yourself from the driving you're supposed to be doing. Second, you're distracting me from the driving I'm supposed to be doing. Third, any other party that has been subjected to your vile ways has also become distracted. Therefore giving the statistics folks a very high number for the possibility of an unfortunate incident/accident.
3) I don't like sharing in your "private moment" while I'm working either. I'm not driving down the road for "pleasure" but for "business" and not the kind of business that involves pleasuring myself. I want to be able to do my job, safely and efficiently and without incident.
I have decided that I'm going to keep a disposable camera in my door compartment or my overhead compartment that will be within easy reach for future "weenie waggers". I will first snap a picture of the idiot wacking away in the drivers seat... then I will snap a picture of his license plate. Then I will mail the camera with a written statement about when and where it took place. Maybe the cops can do something to crack down on the sicko's who want to expose themselves.
I was talking with my sweetie about this latest incident and we came to the conclusion that maybe if they think they can get in trouble with the law they'll stop being pervs'.
I don't mind trying to test this theory. I have though about also making a hand written sign to hold up for the next one... because yes there will be more... that say's "I have your license plate number and I'm calling 9-1-1."
I will do it too.
This time around all I did was shake my head in disgust and then nonchelantly "drifted" over towards his lane, which prompted him to pull over onto the shoulder and stop. Hopefully he was putting things back in their proper places...
Well anywho. It's getting late and I want to relax a little before I hit the hay.
Stay safe and enjoy life... and watch out for exposed penises!
Why?
Because I can. And because it's part of what I'm going to blog about today.
Yesterday I was enjoying a lovely drive down US-67 through the State of Misery...er Missouri. It was hit or miss rain most of the morning but as the afternoon hours came to pass the sun came out and made for a lovely drive.
I was about an hour and a half away from my decided destination for the night on the MO - AR state line when it happened. I was passed by an ordinary Isuzu pick-up truck, complete with Bond-O and rust spots (as an Isuzu pickup is sure to have these days). Nothing attention grabbing, just a bucket of rust cruising down the road.
And then the driver had begun to shift a little in the drivers seat and then slowly began to decelerate. My initial thought..'Cel phone rang, it was on his belt or in his pocket and the conversation and new distraction had his foot forgetting about the gas pedal'.
Boy was I wrong.
He slowed down, honked his horn, apparently desperate for my attention. I thought maybe he needed help or was going to point out a flaw in my truck for me. But no... when I looked over, to my great disappointment and disgust, all I could see was his pants around his knees and his hand working very laboriously on his member. Penis.
Damnit guys! Seriously. I've had a conversation with many of my male friends on this subject to try to get some idea as to why this happens. I want to say that I am happy you feel comfortable enough to masturbate in your car driving down the road. Good for you. Stroke it like you mean it! But please, just leave me (and anyone else for that matter) out of it. I certainly don't want to see you spanking the monkey. My reasons are as follows:
1) I think it's just rude and disgusting. What if I were a real "mother trucker" who had my young child in the truck with me and it was he/she that saw you doing this as opposed to me? Would you be ashamed? Probably not you sick f%ck.
2) The blatant disregard for safety really pisses me off. First you're distracting yourself from the driving you're supposed to be doing. Second, you're distracting me from the driving I'm supposed to be doing. Third, any other party that has been subjected to your vile ways has also become distracted. Therefore giving the statistics folks a very high number for the possibility of an unfortunate incident/accident.
3) I don't like sharing in your "private moment" while I'm working either. I'm not driving down the road for "pleasure" but for "business" and not the kind of business that involves pleasuring myself. I want to be able to do my job, safely and efficiently and without incident.
I have decided that I'm going to keep a disposable camera in my door compartment or my overhead compartment that will be within easy reach for future "weenie waggers". I will first snap a picture of the idiot wacking away in the drivers seat... then I will snap a picture of his license plate. Then I will mail the camera with a written statement about when and where it took place. Maybe the cops can do something to crack down on the sicko's who want to expose themselves.
I was talking with my sweetie about this latest incident and we came to the conclusion that maybe if they think they can get in trouble with the law they'll stop being pervs'.
I don't mind trying to test this theory. I have though about also making a hand written sign to hold up for the next one... because yes there will be more... that say's "I have your license plate number and I'm calling 9-1-1."
I will do it too.
This time around all I did was shake my head in disgust and then nonchelantly "drifted" over towards his lane, which prompted him to pull over onto the shoulder and stop. Hopefully he was putting things back in their proper places...
Well anywho. It's getting late and I want to relax a little before I hit the hay.
Stay safe and enjoy life... and watch out for exposed penises!
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